october used to be the best month

first day back from fall break

i have so much to do but for some reason this is coming first. i've done an awesome job not thinking about things from before but then i'd lie came on just now as i was about to jump in the shower and i couldn't move. because i havent listened to this song since maybe the beginning of this past summer when things were different with him.

"I don't think that passenger seat
Has ever looked this good to me
He tells me about his night 
And I count the colors in his eyes

He'll never fall in love
He swears, as he runs his fingers through his hair
I'm laughing 'cause I hope he's wrong
And I don't think it ever crossed his mind
He tells a joke, I fake a smile 
That I know all his favorite songs

And I could tell you
His favorite color's green
He loves to argue
Born on the seventeenth
His sister's beautiful
He has his father's eyes
And if you ask me if I love him
I'd lie"

that used to be exactly what i felt and now i feel nothing at all on that subject. i feel a lot of other things and its kind of weird not being able to talk to anyone about them. it always worked before because those people i trust were there and they had their own opinions and now to them the things i tell them are just situations that i have to live through. it's just different. i'm excited to mingle the old life and new life a little bit this weekend.