i want to wake up and be home.

i feel an unreasonable closeness to you because you've been listening and experiencing this with me. it's weird to think of sitting on this nice path with you and i didnt know it then but i guess that night i realized i could talk to you about things like this and i could say things that i wanted to and you wouldnt take it the wrong way or judge me for it. i appreciate you talking to me every single day because no one knows how much i need that, not even you. and im a little bit selfishly scared that you'll go to new york and forget that we talk everyday and i'll be all alone out here again but that's okay because if we do i'll assume its because you're having fun and that is fun that you deserve. keep being you and like you told me, keep being strong. best of luck. i've never liked nyc, but i hope it takes care of you.




there's another relationship i'm so disappointed in already and it's unfortunate because tonight i described you as the greatest friend i've ever had but at the same time i don't think you've ever realized how badly i needed what only you could understand. you only understood when i scared you with such strong emotions that you didn't know i was capable of having and you responded with "try to fix this while i'm gone" and that didn't help either because in life, that's my problem. people are always gone. and you said you wouldn't leave but here we are, gone again. and since i've been here i've talked to you twice. one of them was because of your emotions, you never called to see if i liked it here. you still don't know that i dont.






it's unfortuate that people don't stay in touch like they thought they would. we all said we thought we were a different kind of group and we'd come home for breaks for years to come and it'd always feel like we never left and i just have this sense of loyalty like i never want new friends. i just want the same ones, forever. and now everyone's gone and im left standing in an empty room.