love remains the same

this might be a really random post. it might be really deep. i have a lot of thoughts today.


i realized that when im busy, i think a lot. which is weird because i thought it was supposed to be that when your body is idle, your mind wanders. not mine. i'm busy and i do things that are routine and because they take no thinking, my mind takes over.

i think i cleaned for two days straight.
two keeps coming up.
like the month of my best friends birthday.
the last number in another friends.
two people that i feel close to in the world at the moment.
the number of cards i've lost in the last two days.
two.


trust and honesty and caring and everything else i've ever held close to me.
i think its funny and terrible that you can care about someone so much and they will never care about you. and even besides the fact that they dont care about you, they dont care that you care. i dont know which bothers me more.i guess disrespect bothers me the most, whichever one that falls under.
i think its funny and terrible what you said to me. mostly terrible. only funny that i didn't realize how terrible it was at first.
what's also terrible is that you still didn't care even after i reminded you because i was shocked and figured you'd want to tell me you didn't mean that. but since you did, you're more terrible than it all.
you'll make me feel bad about myself for a little while longer.
i'll think about everything i've done and everything you didn't say and then i'll delete you from my memories and my life and i'll hope if i ever talk to you again the first words out of your mouth are "i'm sorry."
i dont plan on communicating with you until that day because i wont feel sorry anymore and i wont expect you to. i just want nothing to do with you.
you're terrible to me.



my roommate for college is funny and cool and we share so many similarities. it's exciting to me. i'm ready to meet new people, i really am.


i can't imagine my life without kathryn. i hope we stay friends forever. literally forever.



water is the coolest thing to watch next to the clouds. the ripples and the movement is consistant and graceful and i just like it. i want to live by a lake. no one understands why i want to move north. they dont have to.


tonight i thanked someone for something they did for me seven years ago. he told me i made his night and wanted me to know how happy he was back then. some things are just so heavy that they can never be late.


appreciation is so important to the soul. to feel needed or wanted. thats important. make that a priority.


i dont know. i feel like i'll write more later.